From a cat-alogue. 82. It means youll get free cake once a year on their birthday for the rest of your life. What goes up and never comes down? What kind of music is bad for balloons? Old age makes us great multitaskers. Q. Half-way through her rendition she realises she's rung the wrong number. Man to wife, Blow out your candles and make a wish. Another year older. Enjoy these funny birthday jokes from Beano's joke geniuses! Just think about how young 60 will seem when you're 70! "Don't birthdays just burn you up?". Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. Someone gave him a red card. Why does the dwarf have no money to buy a birthday cake? I would love to keep you fully stocked with creative ideas, yummy recipes, fun crafts, and loads of free printables. So channel Michael Epps at the dining room table. Why did the dog get tummy problems after eating the Birthday Cake? I am not 40, I am 39.95 plus tax! My girlfriend isn't talking to me. Freeze a jolly good fellow! Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes? What do Ducks smoke during their Birthday? But after 9 long months, I was finally born! Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? And if you feel like the roast might be going a bit too far, take a sip of your own medicine, and turn the good-natured teasing on yourself. Why did the student eat his homework on his birthday? What did the tired mummy tell the man who couldnt keep quiet? Happy Birthday! How did a duck buy birthday presents? 100 Funny Birthday Jokes - Share Some Birthday Humor - Parade 19. So, you've heard it said that laughter is the best medicine and I firmly believe in that kind of medicine! Happy Birthday. What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? What did the buffalo say when his son left the birthday party? Teacher Appreciation Ideas 100s of the Best Ideas, Easy Applique Monograms with FREE printable letters, How to Make a Lined Zippered Pouch Tutorial. But after 9 long months, I was finally born! 89. A: He had a whale of a time. A: From a cat-alogue. xhr.send(payload); While you don't want to take away anyone's spotlight, these funny 60th birthday jokes are too good to pass up. 60th Birthday One-Liners about Grey hair. I got an iPad for my 80 birthday. What did the ghost tell his girlfriend after she threw him a huge birthday celebration? He shellabrates! Why did Dracula cry during his birthday party? You go from wearing bifocals to wearing trifocals. 47. Read up on our old age jokes and "getting old" jokes to live forever. What was the elephants birthday wish? I was born to be a pessimist. Turning 60 is just a new chapter in a long book. Little Johnny: Wow, what a coincidence. Therefore, if you like to send daily texts to those far away, you could send 1 joke a day for their entire Birthday Month! Once, youre in the building, press the button for the elevator with your nose. You just lost one more year of your life. A birthday pheasant! What gets better with every birthday? 84. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? This post contains affiliate links. Why dont owls give each other birthday gifts? 50th Birthday Jokes for Men. I was born to be a pessimist. Your secrets are safe with me because I literally wont remember them. Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know. Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job. What would make you say such a thing?, Then why am I blowing up balloons for his surprise birthday party.. How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? Hap-brie birthday! What to Write in a High School Graduation Card They'll Love. A: Have a fin-tastic day. Dirty Short Jokes Women fake orgasms to have relationships. "Yes, we do," replied the fishmonger. Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties? Whats the fanciest kind of birthday party you can throw for a dog? Honey what do you wish for your birthday? He also helps pen the praiseworthy product descriptions that help you decide what you feel like purchasing from us. Q: Whats the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Q. We recommend our users to update the browser. Its a blowout.How was the birthday party for the fish?It went swimmingly. It was icing on the cake. Q: Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? With how popular gray hair is with teens nowadays, your grandkids will be super jealous that your silvery hue is all natural. What did the Pizza tell the pizza that was having a birthday party! Birthday Quotes And Jokes - JokeQuote.com What does a vegetarian get on their birthday? 70. Why was the soccer player upset on his birthday? Don't worry. By having a whale of a party. You will be pushing with your nose, because your hands will be too busy holding the presents. Why do candles love birthdays so much? Q: What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday? "Great," said the man. What do you always get on your birthday? Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? 23. Where can you find the best birthday present ideas for cats? 100. It is the exact date when I have my birthday. Enjoy my Teacher Appreciation Bundle 75% OFF , Home Jokes 150+ Hilarious Birthday Jokes. What does a clam do on his birthday? Hope you have a gouda birthday!. What does a clam do on his birthday? Pop music. Half-way through her rendition she realises shes rung the wrong number. 44. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { 93. "Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. The 73 Very Best Birthday Jokes 2023 - Ponly Q: Did you hear about the tree's birthday? Q: Why are birthday's good for you? Q. This also applies to your birthday. 49. They take the cake. You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards. What do you get a hunter for his birthday? I would never baguette your birthday. I want a divorce. Hoppy Birthday! Q: How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? You can just do them tomorrow. We guarantee that they're almost as sweet as the birthday cake you're about to devour. 83. Make sure the beautiful birthday person feels the love with these happy birthday wishes! A: Aye, matey! Wonder what day it is? 60 means seeing the world differently through glasses. Stick with me were going places. You know what, how about we just give you 54 hilarious Birthday Jokes instead? Ive never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face. So we are sharing the very best birthday jokes to include in cards, tell them in person, or on the phone. You can still chase women, but only downhill. Turning 80 means your favorite romantic song is probably now a laxative commercial. When I was born I was so surprised, I didnt talk for a year and a half. 1424 Maple Dr. (you will need to be buzzed in, so dial our number with your nose and you will then be buzzed in. Q. Why do golfers prefer a birthday donut over a birthday cake? People kept toasting her! Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? 40 FUNNY BIRTHDAY JOKES - Yellow Octopus Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I dont really know. Birthday Jokes #89 - 80. My moms favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order. What did the cheese tell the grate during his birthday? What kind of birthday cake do you get for a coffee lover? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); From hosting a shrimp boil, celebrating holidays, making homemade scratch art paper, sewing gifts and throwing parties to cooking delicious food, you will find it all here at Skip To My Lou. It's a rule. You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party. One year, she must have had better things to do because Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something. So glad you're still alive and cake-ing. 35. Which side is the left side of a birthday cake? What do people in hell give each other for their birthdays? A: Because people kept toasting him! Thanks, I really appreciate the jester. Jokes The 73 Very Best Birthday Jokes If you're hoping to laugh during your special day, we've got you covered. If you need more inspiration, here are some 60th birthday quotes and clean jokes for seniors you might also want to use. I always feel warm on my birthday because people dont stop toasting me. Happy Birthday to a man of few words or as I like to call youSilent But Dadly! What did the boy tell the girl who lied about her birthday being in June? At her apartment she smiles, fixes him a drink, and then says, I just have to slip into the bedroom for a minute.. 20 Pea Jokes That Will Really Pull Your Legume! Didyou hear about the birthdaycandle sale? Have you thought of a nice gift for me?" Billy - "Yeah, but I am not sure how to wrap a life!" You know you are 40 when you are offered a place to sit on a bus; even more, when you take the offer. The best birthday jokes A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. No, just a bunch of babies. Q. What birthday gift will most offend a state employee? Laughing can make you live longer. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? 35 Turning 70 Jokes To Make Every Senior Laugh Vintage beauty. Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, I dont know, she said . Q: What did the elephant want for his birthday? Make everyone laugh with these funny birthday jokes that will make you the life of the party. Birthday Jokes #79 - 70. What kind of jewelry did the rabbit wear for its birthday party? In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, "So, are you dating anyone?" Which treat do Gorillas love for their birthdays? Q. The life of the party. A twin complains to his mother, You said you didnt have a favourite between me and Brian., We dont darling, replies his mother. 60th birthday jokes are a recipe for an instant smile, which is beneficial at any age. Unfriending facebook people on their birthday. Over the years Ive noticed a subtle change in Bad Jokes That You Cant Help but Laugh At, Funny Photos That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud, Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh, The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. 78. When the candles cost more than the birthday cake. "It's his birthday." It was grandpa Beeston's 100th birthday and his health was still perfect. Q. By now you've probably got a fairly good grasp on who you are. You're not old. So, youve heard it said that laughter is the best medicine and I firmly believe in that kind of medicine! Oh, I dont know, she said, Just give me something with diamonds. And more naps. Birthday jokes is here to show you the below two funny lengthy jokes: Didn't quite see that.. There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. Today is your birthday, so congratulate yourself, especially if youre still young enough to remember it. Enjoy! Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? The young man who took the call was very excited. Hey! What did Dracula tell his friends when they brought Angel Food Cake instead of blood for his birthday? Aye-matey! Honey, you really dont have to do the dishes on your birthday. Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Whos there? A: Aye, matey! Its my wifes birthday tomorrow. Yay, its roar birthday! Forty's not that old. Did you hear about the risk behind birthdays? What did the elephant want for his birthday? "You know you've aged when you read events you lived in a history book." Will Ferrell. Make fun of those grey hairs with . Feel better all day. A: Your age. 60 means embracing the good life. What did the ocean say on its birthday? 30. You're aged to. What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake? Now, get ready to take your sexagenarian humor game to the next level with these witty and well-planned jokes, quotes, and one-liners. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one. Whos there? He had a bone to pick with him! Why do all of my relatives keep reminding me how old I am on my birthday? You are invited to Cathys birthday party. Why was the headless man unhappy when his friends took him to skydive during his birthday? Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Our Stance on AI Content 37. 60's not so bad. Along with our Marketing Maestro, he helps brain storm and devise new plans for how to spread the name of Yellow Octopus to deserving Australians from Kakadu all the way to King Island. Thats why Im giving her a pack of playing cards. Then press floor number 12 with your nose. Q: Where do you get a birthday present for your cat? You know youre getting old when you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. A: Because it was feeling crumby. Birthday Jokes - Happy Birthday One Liners "You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be . Have a fin-tastic day. The wife does but a look of disappointment crosses her face. Nothing it just waved. 39. Q. Cake and mice cream. Youve really made it if you become more than 100 years old. Where do kids get ice cream cakes on their birthday? When he gets to work his attractive secretary asks him whats wrong and he explains. When is a birthday cake similar to a golf ball? Q: What does a clam do on his birthday? At 80 years old your bones get softer, but your arteries get harder, so it balances out. Because it was a pound cake. What did the elephant want for his birthday? What does every birthday end with? Astronaut Puns How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party They planet. 1. 64. If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up rememberYou can always change your birthday on Facebook! On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. Q. Please read our disclosure policy. Q: What goes up and never comes down? Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Your email address will not be published. Every year on my birthday, I looked forward to my aunts gifta scarf, hat, or sweater knitted by hand. Why dont I take you out to lunch to cheer you up, she says. Happy Birthday to mooooo. Q. What do penguins sing on a birthday? Knock, knock! Thankfully, humor comes in all shapes and sizes so the funny things to say to someone turning 60 are endless. Why did the boy soap as a birthday present? You could surprise me.. Statistically, there are very few people over 100 that die. 76. What do you say to your goldfish on his birthday? What kind of birthday cake does Elsa like? What kind of music do balloons fear?Pop tunes. Theyre too focused on the present. 27. Love sharing with your friends and family? Sending you lots of hedge-hugs this birthday. Don't worry, they are not grey hairs, they are wisdom highlights. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? What did the pirate day on this 80th birthday? Q. Q. Because its too hard to put them on the bottom! 62. Every year on my birthday, I looked forward to my aunt's gifta scarf, hat, or sweater knitted by hand. What did the planet tell the other planet before preparing for their friends birthday surprise? It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party. What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? A: Angel food cake. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family. They burn out too quickly! 80. 3. You have a body like the North Star. I was going to poke fun at how old you're getting on your birthday, but fortunately for you I was raised to respect my elders. Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? What do you call a noodle pretending its his birthday? What happens when you invite a thief to your birthday party? Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. No, they both burn shorter! All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am. What did mama donut tell baby donut during his birthday? What do you call a sick birthday cake? I've heard it was one of the coolest decades ever! Did you hear about the tree's birthday party? That's free cake once a year for a lifetime. Why cant you give Elsa a balloon on her birthday? What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? } Why don't birthday candles ever exercise? Birthdays are nice and all, but I think too many can kill you! They run the gamut from silly knock-knocks jokes to ice-cold ice cream puns. 95. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know its not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Whats eating you up? Tip #2: Keep a journal or diary. A stomach ache. 91. Doctor, doctor! I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. What did the ocean say to the birthday boy? Why doesnt Dracula like hosting birthday parties? 58 Birthday One Liners - The funniest birthday jokes - OneLineFun.com Turning 60 just means getting your way more often. 100 Funny Birthday Jokes Hilarious Birthday One Liners - Woman's Day You know you're getting old when you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. If its in tiers. Or maybe you need something a bit more specific? It's the large print version of an iTouch. What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer? They always forget to take off the candles. Remember the 60s were the Golden Era! Q. Terms Disclosure Privacy Policy Powered by CultivateWP. 8. One who remembers your birthday but not your age! Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday? I hope that your birthday is as enjoyable as you are, but that is a high standard. How old was the caveman on his birthday?Stone AgeWhy did the cupcake go to the doctor? Required fields are marked *. Don't feel bad about turning 60, at least none of your teenage mistakes are immortalized on the internet. Old Age Jokes. A: From a cat-alogue. A: It was a sappy one! What do they call you when you attend a ghost birthday? Do it tomorrow. You just happen to be extremely wise. They dont want to make a racquet. Home; Jokes and Quotes. Why didnt the Cow laugh at his birthday party? When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. Aye-matey! If you click and buy we may make a commission, at no additional charge to you. What did the astronaut say when he was given his birthday present? Where do you get a birthday present for your cat? The Top 101 Funny Birthday Jokes That Will Make You LOL | Les Listes 60 Hilarious Birthday Jokes & Puns to Send Your Friends - Best Life 88 Hilarious Happy Birthday Dad Jokes to Drop Anyone to the Floor This will make you feel so much younger. 97. What did one candle say to the other? "I want you inside me." 3. As a single, never-married woman in my 40s, I have been questioned endlessly about my status by friends, relatives and co-workers. For the birthday potty. You start wondering who that old woman/man is looking in your window and realize you're standing in front of the mirror. Q: How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. What do mussels do on their birthdays? Disclosure |Contact Us. Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks on their birthday? Little Johnny: Mummy, when was I born? What happens when you find a genie bottle between poison Ivy during your birthday? I need to be home at 8 p.m. EST. A. If you've got a few jokes of your own, share them below. 2. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { But mom and dad give me money to stop playing. Those aren't grey hair you see. Q. Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes? Q: What did the witch do on her birthday? Why couldnt the science teacher come up with a good birthday joke? Before that birthday hits, invest in a multipack set of lighters. You wanna piece of me? Why dont ghosts celebrate their birthdays? What did the mommy rose say to the baby rose on his birthday? We improve with wine. Check out below for the top 101 birthday jokes that are bound to get you to LOL. Happy birthday, man! A Reasonable Bedtime. Because it was a soaprize party! What, it ISN'T your birthday? Another year older! I appreciate the sediment. A: It was a sappy one! Im starving! The icing. You know you're getting older when an "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee. Chuck Norris ate his birthday cake before anybody had the chance to tell him that there was a stripper inside. When its sliced. How does the Ice tea wish Coffee a happy birthday? What sort of birthday food do ghosts prefer? 74. A: Angel food cake. Laugh now. A: Mice cream and cake. What did the orange ask the unhappy birthday cake? if you're a tree. I hope you have an egg-cellent birthday! Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Q. What is it about birthdays that make kangaroos unhappy? 75 Extremely Funny 60th Birthday Jokes 2023 Birthday Jokes #9 - 1. A ball.What do you get a hunter as a birthday present?A birthday pheasant. What do you call a cake thats hard to cut? Birthday Jokes #69 - 60. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? Q. Amid a shocking revelation about her pay. Get married on his birthday. What did the birthday cake say to the ice cream? In case they get a hole in one! You planet carefully. Please see our disclosure policy for more details. You know you are getting old when you start getting birthday cards from your orthopedist. I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face. The British, the Camel and the Meal Three English men were walking through a desert. The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk that he'd like a bottle of Chanel No. Kelly has more than 12 years experience as a professional writer and editor. Its my wifes birthday tomorrow. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! We improve with wine. Happy birthday, best tea! After work the man races home and showers his wife with gifts. Did you hear about the trees birthday? 14 carrot gold. What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? Why do men get their great ideas in bed? When you're over the hill, you pick up speed. Q. Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? Getting older can be hard, but hey, congrats on making it through another year! Today is your birthday, so congratulate yourselfespecially if you're still young enough to remember it! It's bee-day! 41 Prom Quotes for a Night Full of Fun & Memories. What should you say to a fish on its birthday?
